forgiveness

"forgive and forget, that's what they say.
Is good advice, but not very practical.
When someone hurts us, we hurt them.
When someone mistakes, we want to be right.
Without forgiveness, old scores are never settled, old wounds never healed.
And the most we can hope is that one day we will be lucky enough to forget"

UN-APCICIT e-mail

THIS MORNING I GOT THIS E-MAIL
very bad day today

ohhhh shitttttttttttt...


Dear Ni,

Thank you very much for your keen interest to contribute to the work of UN-APCICT.

Unfortunately, the competition for internship was very high, thus making the selection extremely tough for us.

Everyone we met was equally driven and passionate and if the slots were not limited to seven, we would have accepted everyone as our interns.

Although we will not get a chance to work together this time around, we are positive that our paths will cross again.

We also know that very bright future awaits you. So please stay driven and passionate and more importantly, stay in touch.

We wish you the very best luck in your future endeavors.

Best Regards
Steve Jeong

UN APCICT
(Asian and Pacific Training Center for Information and Communication Technology for Development)
Tel. (82-32) 245 - 1700 ~ 1702
Fax. (82-32) 245 - 7712
clickjeong@unapcict.org
cliclick@naver.com

bad day

i started my life today with joining the English class
but all of the students are mostly Korean
i dunno why i just want to come since i woke up very early

i went there with Nasikun
and we learned about how to use in, at, on.....
after the class we went to canteen to have breakfast

then i read again data structure because i have exam today
but suddenly i look my roommate's homework
and at that time, i had an idea to edit my design homework
and i just do it in less than one hour
but the output is not too ugly as i thought

then i ran to the class and skipped my lunch
i knew i was late

in the class we watched everyone work
wow,,their work is so nice
i love those things
and i felt so regret because i couldn't use my time wisely to do my homework

hmmmm....
feeling so blue

after the class i went back to my room
i prayed and went to the class again
we started our mid on time

but when i saw the question
i felt something in my head
my heart said that "it's very difficult,,i can't do it"
since then i just think how i can answer all the questions

i tried my best
but i guaranteed that i just get less than half of the score
i feelllllllll really reallly dissapointed of myself
STUPID!!!!!!

i will become an engineer
why i can't solve these program???
shit....
dunno lah
but i still have 4 more chances to increase my grade
hopefully i can do it

토요일밤에

널 잃은 아픔에 찢어진 가슴에
A heart shattered from pain of losing you
텅빈 내 마음에 난 이제 어떻게 살아
With my void heart, how can I live on
널 잃은 아픔에 찢어진 가슴에
널 잃은 아픔에 찢어진 가슴에
A heart shattered from pain of losing you
텅빈 내 마음에 한없이 슬퍼지는 오늘
With my void heart, this is one sad day

토요일 밤에 바로 그 날에
On the day of Saturday night
토요일 밤에 떠나간 그대
You left me on a Saturday night

이 슬픈 노래가 날 울려
The sad song makes me cry again
널 생각하면서 난 불러
I sing it thinking of you
웃다가 울다가 또 지쳐
Laughing, crying, it wears me out
술에 취해 비틀거리는 이 밤
This night I stagger in drunkness

떠나가는 그대를 기억이 나
I remember you leaving me
이 무너지는 내 맘을 너는 혹시 알까
Do you know of my breaking heart
멀어지는 그대를 지우고파
I want to erase you walking away
나는 애를 쓰고 애를 써도 그게 잘 안되
I try so hard but its not so easy


널 잃은 아픔에 찢어진 가슴에
A heart shattered from pain of losing you
텅빈 내 마음에 난 이제 어떻게 살아
With my void heart, how can I live on
널 잃은 아픔에 찢어진 가슴에
널 잃은 아픔에 찢어진 가슴에
A heart shattered from pain of losing you
텅빈 내 마음에 한없이 슬퍼지는 오늘
With my void heart, this is one sad day

토요일 밤에 바로 그 날에
On the day of Saturday night
토요일 밤에 떠나간 그대
You left me on a Saturday night

사랑한다는 말은 필요없잖아
No need to say I love you
너의 곁에 내가 살아 숨쉬는데
I'm alive like this right beside you
매정하게 나를 떠나간 너를
You left me so harshily
그리움에 지쳐가 다시 목이 매여 와
Yearning wears me out, makes me throat starts to choke

떠나가는 그대를 기억이 나
I remember you leaving me
이 무너지는 내 맘을 너는 혹시 알까
Do you know of my breaking heart
멀어지는 그대를 지우고파
I want to erase you walking away
나는 애를 쓰고 애를 써도 그게 잘 안되
I try so hard but its not so easy

pusing pusing pusing

haloooooooooooo
gw pusing bgt
nga sama ujian
tugas
presentasiii dll

ada lg coba
yg bkin gw pusinggg bner
hmmmmm
tp y uda lah gpp

hmmmm
nasibb mid gw gmna yah??
data structure??
out of control bgt nihhh
suse bner
ga tau apa yg mau gw jawabbb

mid open book??
brrt kn jawabannya g ada di buku tuh
hmmmmmmm
suse deh nih
ahhhh
ga tau
gw pusing

Tuesday come faster faster......
i want to relax my mind
dunno why
it's difficult time for me :(

codingan

sumpe sumpe sumpe
codingan gw g selese2
susa bner sih??
oh my God

masi ada 2 pr lg yg akan menanti dari data structure
n ntah berapa lg dr java programming
ntah brapa presentasi lg yg harus gw jalanin
tiap minggu ada ajjjaaaa

hiks
rasanya pgn nangis
sumpahhh
cape bgt sbenernya
tp apa mau dikata
"I WON'T TO DISAPPOINTED ANYONE"

welcome party buat anak2 ASEAN

ahay ahay ahay
senangnya hari ni
ga terasa uda 1 bulna lebi bbrapa hari tinggal di sini
rasanya senanggggggg,,,sedihhhhhhhh
campur aduk lahh

tp dipagi hari yg indah
muncullah sebuah e-mail yg berkata
kalau hari ini bakal ada welcoming party
heheheheh
senang
setelah 1 bulan menunggu party ini
hmmmmmmmm

sebelum party so pastinya ada kelas dulu mpe sore
hmmmmmmmm
cape
padahal lg sakit nih eke
gara2 kecapean n krg ist

jam sudah menunjukkan pukul 11.30
waktunya makan sianggg
makan hari ini sungguhhhh enakkk
berhubung td pagi g mkn,,
jadi laperr bner

menunya:
mie seafud
bakwan
hmmmmmm yumiiieeee

uda makan lgs cabd deh k klas java
hmmmmmm
senanggg
blon apa2 uda dsuru ngerjain exercise
y uda deh terpaksa ngerjain

dah gtu si lect blg gini
:we won't have any mid sem exam and also final exam,,BUT we have a final project and it will be complicated"

oh God
mati dah gw ini
sumpe
parahh
muda2an gw dpt kel yg bner dahh

ude selese kls ini
ane with nasikun plg dulu
solat zuhur
da gtu balik lg kelas tmbahan korea
hmmmm

uda sls klas balik lg dehhh
buat naro buku
trus k intl ofice ngumpul dsana
uda pada ngumpul smua
kita jalan dehhhh

ternyata kami dibawa sebuah resto yg amat sgt dekat dgn dorm
hmmmmmmmmmm
tppp
cozzyyy bgt nihh
kami makan

bebekk ala korea,,sup,,kim {rumput laut}my fave food
delicious
i eat a lot coz emang bner2 enak
uda sls makan

kita norebang [karoukean]
asooy bner dahhh
nyanyi2 bareng
sumpe stres gw sedikit ilanggg
sekalian joget2 g jelas m anak2 smua
hhahhahahahah

ude abis tuh jamnya
beralih dah ke tempat baseball deket norebang
hmmm
awalnya gw ogah maen baseball
abis pastinya kaga bisa
tppp karena g nahan ngliat temen2 gw smuanya nyobainnnnnnn
akhirnya gw merasa tertantang nihhh
hmmmmmmm

y uda gw keluarkan duit 500 won=5000rupiah
untuk maen baseball
hahahahhahahah

sumpe asli suse bener
kaga ada yg kena tu bola m gw
hahahahha
tp it was very funnn

gw berfikir untuk rutin dtg k tmpat ini
buat ngilangin stres gw and also melatih maen baseball
hahahhaha

ude maen baseball
yg cowo2 and also si pricess (gebetannya si lutfi ma aru)maen tinju2an
halah
ade2 aja tu org2
tp sumpahhh seru
hahahahhaha

pas duit uda abis
pada pulang deh smuanya
mpe kamar gw membuka ym gw
n mulai lg melihat plurk
hmmmmmm
lg sepi sekali nampaknya

"lg pd nayri kodok" kata salah stu anak plukers
saking sepinya
hmmmmmmmmm

ude bosen dgn plurk
gw beralih dgn tugas codingan gw
hmmmmm
susa nihhh
tp mesti nyoba
demi menjadi seorg programmer

i hope so

tomorrow my career start
gw bakal di interview m PBB
buat jadi seorang researcher dsana
entah lah gw keterima apa nga
tp semoga ajahh dehhh

klo g keterima dsana
mungkin masi ada tempat yg terbaik buat gw
klo ga di KIST (Korean Institute Science and Technology) itu tmpat the best research center in Korea
ato ga di tmpat2 research yg terbaik dsini jg

wish me luck tomorrow :))))
tp sumpah gw nervous bangetttttt

did i do something wrong??

ya ya ya ya
dunia ini emang aneh
klo lg diatas bsa seneng bgt
klo dbawah rasanya pgn nangis

emang bner kadang kala pasti ada yg kita korbanin di hidup ini
HIDUP EMANG SEBUAH PILIHAN

n gw uda ngerasain hal itu skrg
emang skrg gw dpt apa yg gw mau....
tp disamping itu jg
ada yg ilang dr hidup gw
sumpahhh

rasa yg pling bsa bkin org semangat
bsa gila jg

ga tau lahhh
mungkin itu memang pilihan buat gw

yahh...we have to choose it
we'll see later....

Software Engineering

hmmm
i just thinking
and keep thinking all day

what is Software Engineering??
what should i do in the future?

i'm not good in programming
i'm not good in all programming language
how i can be the success programmer?

what are my expectation in the future?
hmmmm
what is the interest field about SW engineering??
i dunno

but i really want to know
all i can do now is just study study study and study more
i really want to know

hope that someday i will get the answer

quote of the day

well, someone told me about one quotation

dunno why

my heart was stopped and it was like i could not breathe for a while

he said :

"if u try hard, there is possibility u don't get it. but if u don't try u perfectly failed"

i can get deep meaning from this statement

but for sure he had given me the new thinking of life
before he said like this,
i only think about "if you want to get the best things in your life, you have to do it even if you have to sacrifice many things"

thanx you taught me a new thing

assignment ohh assignment

hmmm
so many assignment this week
i feel like i want to die
i can't finish all of those things
but i will try my best

i don't want to disappoint anyone
i want to be the best student
hmmm
will i?
i feel like i can't do it

my data structure project
that's the biggest problem
i want do it ASAP
so, my head won't think about that again n again

God please give me the way out

Eating time

yesterday (April 4th 2009)

hmmm..i felt so happy
dunno why
but
maybe yesterday i had a small party with all member of ASEAN students

after i had lunch
me, So, Princess, and also So's buddy went to Home Plus near the bus express terminal
there, we bought so many ingredients to make spaghetti and also some snack
hmmmm
we bought a lot of things

u know wat??
when i saw Hello Kitty's stuff
i felt like i really missed her
i love Hello Kitty when i was in the 6th grade of elementary school
it was many years ago

the 1st thing i did was pick some of the stuff
like book, mouse pad....
hmmmm
so many things that i bought
but i was very happy

it seemed like i just met my old friend
dunno why
but that's my feeling

after shopping
we went back to dorm then start cooking
hmmmm

well, it wasn't too delicious
but i really happy if they can eat all of these things

at 8pm
we went to lounge in the 1st floor
we gathered there

after the spaghetti were done
Our Korean friend came and gave us apple and pear
wew
it so big and very sweet
i love it
he said that near his house there are so many apple
so i answered like this,,may i go to ur house and pick some apple, please?
he just laughed
hmmmm

then after the party was over
we backed to our room
and we give all boys jobs
they had to clean up all the spoon,chopstick,plate, glass
haahahhahaha
i said to them "girls cook but boys clean up"
hmmmm